A ridiculously lame sermon

In the past two weeks, I've been going to a church called Newbern Alliance which is somewhat close to where I live in Vancouver. I've tried both the English and the Chinese services, the former definitely seems better. Everybody was so long-winded in the Chinese service that I attended: the guys who led the singing said there's no need to say much because the songs' lyrics are so well written, and then he gave a speech on the song... But the worst was during the communion. The guy who administered the communion gave a 15-min SERMON on the purpose of communion right after the official lengthy sermon.

In any case, so I decided to go to the English service. And last week, at the English service, I chanced upon one of the most ridiculous sermons I ever heard, an experience totally worth recording.

The speaker's speech had a title, something along the line of "spiritual inputs & outputs". He began with Matthew 12 and James 3, saying that we gotta watch our tongues, which is the "output". But that'd be too simple, so he went on to say that we also got to manage our "input", so we'll have the right "output". He encouraged us to throw away our DVDs, video games, and music CDs, which might pollute our pure mind, just as a drop of cyanide can poison an entire cup of water. He then cited Job 6.24: "Teach me, and I will be silent; And show me how I have erred." According to this guy, Job found out that the reason why he suffered so much was because of what he had said; he didn't watch his tongue, so he lost his family and properties. So how shall we watch our tongues? He suggested that we shall not utter expressions such as: "unbelievable", "break a leg", and "it blew my mind". These are exaggerations that we don't mean. If we speak unreal things in the morning, our prayers at night will have no chance of being realized, or so he suggested.

Now, this sermon errs in so many points that it is difficult to criticize in a systematic manner, but I'll try. First, his two key passages, Matt 12 and James 3, do condemn the practice of bad-mouthing (output), but they don't talk about the inputs at all. Matt 12 relates bad fruits to bad trees, but it says nothing of what inputs the tree has received to become bad in the first place! So one of the 2 main points that he's making isn't even talked about in the biblical passages that he focused on. The other support for his point about inputs is the cyanide analogy. But whenever someone appeals to analogy as an argument, we should see a red flag. While it sounds reasonable, we have to question what is cyanide in water to do with DVDs in our life? I can argue in the same manner in the opposite direction: just as a chicken dropped into the Pacific Ocean won't turn the ocean into chicken soup, DVDs won't have much effect to our spiritual life. There, analogies don't make conclusive arguments.

His interpretation of Job 6 is even worse. It says: "Teach me, and I will be silent; And show me how I have erred." Job isn't saying he suffered because he spoke to much, and now he shall shut the hell up. It says it right there in this passage, he has no idea why he suffered at all, that's why he challenges God to "show me how I have erred". If God can tell him even just one thing he had done wrong, he'll shut up; otherwise he'll keep whining. And this speaker turned this passage around to say the exact opposite. Man, this is just bad exegesis.

The applications of these teachings are equally lame. Regarding the inputs, I have already said that his teachings find no basis in the 3 main passages that he cited. Regarding the outputs, although Matt 12 and James 3 do talk about controlling tongues, I'm pretty sure they do not mean to say that it is wrong to say "unbelievable" or "mind-blowing". They're talking about curses, blaspheming against the holy spirit; they're not forbidding the use of figures of speech and rhetorics. In fact, the bible itself does that all the time. When it describes God as a man with hands, or a heart, it isn't being untruthful to its readers. Any sane person will recognize the use of anthropomorphism in such descriptions. Why not?

Well, all in all, this sermon was so unbelievably lame that it is mind-blowing.

教會執事殺情婦?

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教會執事涉殺聾啞情婦
(星島)2009年11月3日 星期二 05:30


被公認為性情溫和、樂於助人的虔誠教會執事，與同為聾啞的已婚女教友發生婚外情，女教友疑苦苦相纏要求執事離婚，執事不勝其煩下涉以刀捅殺女教友。事發三日後，執事哭著向教會牧師和盤托出殺人一事，並到警署寫下自首信。執事被控一項謀殺罪，案件昨於高院開審。

　　記者：何鳳儀

　　現年四十七歲的被告葉啟明，昨於高院否認一項於去年九月十三日謀殺女子吳桂芳（三十九歲）罪名。被告指自己當時精神失常，承認誤殺罪，但不獲控方接納。

　　控方開案陳辭指，被告與死者年幼時相識於聾人學校，八九年在九龍城衙前圍道香港聾人基督教會相聚，被告為教會執事，而靠綜援維生的死者也熱心教會事務，二人各家室子女，但暗地裏發展親密關係。死者丈夫昨供稱，他視性情溫和的被告為普通朋友，被告曾替他修理濾水器及搬家具。

　　牧師面前哭著懺悔

　　死者丈夫梁偉光昨供稱，事發當日早上十一時，他帶兩名兒子到父母西區寓所，妻子原答應一同晚飯，但未有現身；晚上十時他返到沙田 新翠村新明樓寓所，赫見妻子躺於血泊中，毫無動靜，遂立即傳真通知被告、父親及教會傳道人鄺志雄，鄺趕到現場助他報警。救護員到場後證實吳已死亡，驗屍報告指死因是胸口被刀捅傷。

　　控方指出，與被告相識近十年的教會牧師高偉光，於同月十六日應被告妻子通知到其寓所會面，被告一見高即哭起來懺悔，承認自己用刀捅死吳桂芳，指死者要求他離婚及娶她。被告同日到警署，在警誡下寫下：「我要自首，因我是殺吳桂芳。」被告及後在錄影會面中表示他早於事發前兩日對死者動殺機，並於當日買兇刀及新衣。

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呢條友根本就冇誠心認罪, 話自己係精神失常誤殺.